September 30, 2023
Answer Questions 16-20 on pages 175 &176
Improving Subject Lines and Opening Sentences (L.O. 2)
Your Task. Revise the following wordy openings for messages so that they are more direct and concise. Write an appropriate subject line and opening sentence for each one.
Example: Question 14
Subject line: Inquiring About Becoming a Green Living Spaces Affiliate
Opening Sentence: Please answer the following questions about becoming an affiliate of Green Living spaces, which I learned about at your website.
16.) My name is Daryl Davidson, and I am assistant to the director of Human Resources at MicroSinergie. Our company has a Yammer-based enterprise social platform, which we would like to use more efficiently to elicit feedback on employee issues and concerns. I understand you have a software product called Opinionware that might do this, and I need to ask you some questions about it.
17. Thank you for your e-mail of February 8 in which you inquired about the availability of the best-selling OWC Mercury Pro external USB Blu-ray reader/writer.
18. I have received your message of May 6 asking whether or not our company was able to manufacture custom metric fasteners for you. You inquired about whether we could provide a custom solution to your metric fastener demands or let you know whether we currently have any metric fasteners in stock. I can answer in the affirmative to both queries! We do indeed have a variety of metric fasteners in stock because most of our customers require standard precision manufactured metric screws. Of course, custom solutions are available in many materials. Check out our Metric Fastener Inventory page. If you can’t find what you need, we will manufacture custom fasteners to any provided specification.
19. This will acknowledge receipt of your inquiry of November 14 in which you ask whether we will be hosting the next edition of PACK EXPO International in Chicago, October 23–26, 2022. After canceling the 2021 in-person PACK EXPO in Chicago due to the COVID-19 pandemic, we are confident that we can return to McCormick Place in October 2022.
20. Your complaint about our recent shipment of MESA 12AX7 preamp tubes that were broken in transit to you has been directed to me for response. Thank you for telling us immediately about this mishap with your Order No. 008976. We also thank you for your thoughtfulness in noting the damage carefully on the express receipt. That information is very helpful. We are sending a replacement shipment of your entire order by prepaid express and expect that it will arrive by March 15 to replace your stock of guitar and bass amp tubes.
Answer 6.1 Radical Rewrite on page 176. Please just list the weaknesses.
6.1 Radical Rewrite: Poor Direct Request—Planning Accessible Conference (L.O. 2)
As a member of the planning committee for an upcoming conference, you have been asked to draft a message requesting information about whether the venue is accessible for all participants.
Your Task. Analyze this message and list its writing weaknesses. Does this message apply the advice in this chapter for writing requests? If your instructor directs, revise the message using the suggestions you learned in this and previous chapters. Strive to arrange the information in an orderly bulleted list.
When ending a claim message, why do you think it is important to conclude with an action request?